Contemplating Life

Sitting on the patio, having my morning coffee contemplating my life. 2019 is coming to an end fast. This has honestly been the worst year of my entire life. 

I want to begin 2020 in a new state of mind filled with peace, happiness and joy. I'm tired of being angry and full of rage all the time. I'm tired of being an emotional wreck. It's time for me to take back control of my life and build the life I want. 

I know this won't be easy. I'll have to continue letting go of people and things that I've been holding onto for too long. I'll have to continue working on myself every day. 

I usually make a list of goals and things I want to accomplish in a journal but this year I'm going to do it on my blog. 

2020 Goals 

1) Get my car fixed.

2) Get my care note caught up.

3) Pay off my car this year.

4) Get my bank account fixed.

5) Build a savings.

6) Change careers. 

7) Get my own place.

8) Go to church on Sundays.

9) Volunteer.

10) Exercise.

11) Stop drinking as often as I do.

12) Get healthier (mentally, spiritually & physically)

13) Take a vacation somewhere tropical. 

14) Invest my money.

15) Finally get my divorce.

16) Start school by the end of 2020.

17) Take a self defense class.

18) Read 1 book a month. 

19) Stop smoking.

20) Spend more time with family. 

I think 20 goals for 2020 is a good start. Now, I just have to make an action plan. This will be the tricky part.

Changing careers I'm already working on. I find out tomorrow if I get the Activities Coordinator job that I applied for at the local Memory Care Facility. I'm praying I get it and I'm praying I'm good at it. 

If I get it, I'll keep my current waitress job for 2 months which will help me get myself on a budget, fix my account, my car and save money to get my own place by my birthday hopefully. So I guess my next thing to do is set up a daily workout routine and pick a book to start reading. Probably a self help book since I'm working on me. 

I also need to work on forgiveness after this past year; for myself and for others. I have a lot to be angry about though so I know this will be hard but it's a start.