Happy Birthday Grayson

Today my nephew turned 6 years old. I'm such a shitty Aunt. I don't even have money to buy him a gift. Not that he needs anything because my brother gives him everything he wants but that's not the point. I work tonight so I'll swing by Walmart on my way home and get him a gift then. 
His party is Saturday so it will be fine. 

I remember when he was born. I was living at my moms 6 years ago. I was actually happy. I was going to church. I led the GA's. I worked at a crap job as a gas station overnight clerk but I actually enjoyed my job. The cops would come hang out over night. I had a few really good friends. I went to Thursday night football games with my daughter. This was one of my happy moments in life. 

I had just started dating a guy that I thought was amazing. He took me hunting and fishing. He was tall, sweet, funny and loved his parents and believed in God. He had a great job and his own house. It didn't last long because I soon discovered he was cheating on me with another chick which in turn caused me to lose my shit. 

They are now happily married and he takes her hunting and fishing and camping. I ended up being his secret side piece which totally sucked and broke my heart. This was just one of my many failed relationships. At least I did get a few good memories from this relationship with out being too devastated and scared. Q was never abusive verbally, mentally or physically. He just cheated and lied and got caught. I miss his parents though. They were really sweet people. 

Looking back through my fb memories it seems like this is about the time of year I usually have a complete break down and lose my shit every year so I'd say it looks like I'm on point for my life. 

Anyways, I'm excited because my moms coming to town, we are going to go get my car looked at today and hopefully get it fixed today. That will be one less stressed in my life. Plus, I really miss my mom and just need some time with her. 

I have to say this whole blogging thing is helping a little with my anxiety and depression. It feels good to get all of these crazy memories, thoughts and feelings out. 

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